In 1997, I experienced an incident which clarified for me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that
I am not my thoughts. One night I wrote in my dream journal:
Show me the cause of my fears.
(I was hoping for a dream scenario, a
smoking gun, to account for my fearful response to life.)
A couple of nights later my husband was out of town and I was alone in our three bedroom house. I was
roused from a very deep sleep at about 2 a.m. by a crashing, tinkling sound coming from the kitchen area.
Intrigued, I went to investigate.
I turned on the kitchen light. There, before me on the floor, was broken
glass which I observed with utter calm and no thought. My eyes then went to broken glass in the sink and to a broken
pass-through window above the sink. There was a sense of puzzlement and curiosity. The impulse came to go to the patio
to see what was out there. That's when the first clear thought arose. It was calm and sensible:
Maybe this is
something to call the police about. I picked up the kitchen phone to dial 911.
Still perplexed about the situation, I said to a woman,
Something, or someone, just broke my kitchen window.
The woman began asking quick, crisp questions:
Are you alone?
Yes, I said. (I was still utterly calm;
Where are you? She asked.
In my kitchen, I said.
Then she said something that prompted a sudden, dramatic change within me. In an urgent voice, she said,
Go immediately into your bedroom and lock yourself in and don't come out until the police arrive.
It was as if I had
caught her fear. Thoughts of danger flooded my mind and I switched
instantly from a calm, open, alert curiosity to a full fear response. As I locked my bedroom door, my heart was
pounding; I could barely breathe; and my hands were shaking. The police arrived and I felt a little safer. The officers
said a patio chair had been used to pry open the window. When the lock wouldn't give, the glass shattered.
(I was in no actual danger. The police found a young man walking in the neighborhood, a friend of our sons who had been
looking for a place to spend the night. He thought the house was empty and tried the same window our sons had used when
they had forgotten their keys.)
My dream journal question had been answered: my fears were generated by my thoughts. I also found a deeper truth about myself but
I didn't have a container to hold it. I began my spiritual journey to follow this thread. The vivid memory of my calm, curious,
alert awareness before the thinking mind woke up inspired me to follow wherever my inner guidance led me. Doing so, I was deeply
influenced by the teachings of Robert Tennyson Stevens, A Course in Miracles, Eckhart Tolle, Bryon Katie, Adyashante, Ramana Maharshi,
Nisargadatta and Zen.
I wandered on my journey for over 10 years until I found John Sherman on the internet in 2007 and began turning inward to try to
actually, consciously, take just one look at myself.
I was able to notice that, whatever my experiences, I am always here, I have always been here and, while everything
around me changes, the sense of me, existing here, is exactly the same as when I was a child and has never been changed by anything
that has happened to me. Over time, the need to escape my life though defense and distraction has diminished.
After many years of wandering, learning and meditating, I could easily find clarity when I consciously turned inward.
When writing or speaking I was being given images for effective analogies and words for psychological and spiritual teachings. These
seemed meaningful to others and also helpful to me as it became clear I was teaching what I needed to learn. I noticed inner and outer
encouragement to continue to share these teachings with others. Obviously, at times I was also in my trauma fear, unconscious, while my
pathologies held sway. I differentiated this calling to teach from ego's demands by the humbleness I felt around it; as well as by
noticing my ego's strong resistance to expressing any of it in the world. I felt a strong spiritual connection, but something was missing.
I knew there was more!
My inner guidance led me to begin dreamwork with the North of Eden therapists in 2009.
I was encouraged to get out of my head and dive deeper into my feelings. I realized I had little experience of being in my body.
(Perhaps because I nearly died of the cord around my neck during birth; perhaps from other traumas.) Pathological coping mechanisms
showed up in my dreams as me trying to control everything to avoid trauma feelings, essentially shutting down my body. The Archetypes
gradually led me past enough blocks for me to begin to feel more viscerally in my body. As inward turning continues within me of its
own accord, the clearing of a lifetime of resistance continues: with dream by dream helping to free my mind of remaining enslavement
and opening my body further to sense the wild, unpredictable energies that are my essence, my birthright. Life is good.
I am exceedingly grateful for all the inner and outer guidance I have been given. I only desire to fully perceive, receive, live and enjoy my rich,
Schedules & Directions of open meetings with Lera.
Lera's Education and Training:
BA in Journalism, University of Alabama.
MA in Psychology, Alfred University, NY.
Usui & Karuna Reiki® Master/Teacher.
Healing Touch Practitioner.
Hypnotherapy (Jerry Kein).
NLP (Peter O'Dell).
Bert Hellinger's Family Constellation.
Robert Tennyson Steven's Mastery Systems.
Advanced Gold/Toastmasters International.
Don't believe any thought ... not even this one!
Contact: Lera Chacon